LuliLaj's - UaTV archive

Where am I?

It's the place, where I store The best and The crazyest old Ukrainian TV commercials from 1991 till 2010

Here are digitized clips of forgotten Ukrainian advertising TV clips from the 90s and 2000s. Each entry: title, video, short description, transcript under the spoiler and a Leave a comment button. English subtitles are present in each video! Enjoy!!!

Chumack - Mayonnaise

Food Year: ±1996 Brand: "Chumack" - Still Active

The video shows a scene from a Ukrainian village, and has a humorous-sexual overtone - because censorship on TV has not yet been "invented". One by one, the men run to the house of a woman who has MAYONNAISE.

Chumak PJSC is a Ukrainian company that produces tomato paste, cold sauces (ketchup, mayonnaise), and seasonal preserves. Headquartered in Kakhovka, Kherson Oblast, the company was founded in Ukraine in 1993 by two Swedish entrepreneurs.

Chumak ketchup was the first Ukrainian ketchup to quickly capture the market. However, the company was unable to maintain its leadership. Currently, Chumak accounts for only 25% of the ketchup market, two and a half times less than the leader, Torchin.

📜 Transcript

Wow, Parasya!

What's Kateryna doing?

Those men fly to her house like bees to honey

maybe she made a love potion

It's not a potion, it's mayonnaise.

Here, I asked for some

Try it too. I'm gonna go test it on my husband

God, what's gooin on? She too?

Ah? Mykola, Where do you think you going?

Damn, what did she said?

Mayo..... nnaise?

Delitious! [Torchin Pdouct]

5 Drops - Vodka

Alcoholic Drink Year: ±2002 Brand: "5 Krapel" - Obscure?

Obscure vodka brand - "5 Drops (5 kapel)." - Ukrainian vodka brand was produced by the Prime Distillery, known for its classic vodka and birch sap-infused vodka.

The name itself, it seems to me, is associated with the classic long-term technology by which birch sap is actually extracted - through a drainage system - drop by drop.

Commercials for "5 Drops" vodka almost always provided quirky descriptions of each of the "five drops," as here.

📜 Transcript

So? 5 drops each?

First drop - to get some speed

Second drop - only mine

Third drop - For the jokes

Forth one - to get on a horse

Fifth drop is the last one

For our wishes to come true

"Five Drops" - Spin the world Around

Mobilich - Mobile Operator

Mobile Operator Year: 2007-2009 Brand: "Mobilich" - Obscure

"Mobilych" was an obscure sub-brand of "Kyivstar" mobile operator with the most witty advertising on TV - had a single goal - to fill the mobile communications market for the older generation - Starring the mascot "Mobilych" (aka Mobile-Grandpa) who was suggestion the mobile connection to all grandmas of the block - in poetry.

Apperentaly They succeeded in doing so in just two years of existence (2007-2009) - after which "Mobilych" subscribers were transferred to "Kyivstar" basic tariffs.

Though I don't know a single person who would actually use this qurky operator while it existed.

📜 Transcript

Mykhailvna has a problem,

Who to call - she has a dilemma.

Choose not whom to connect,

But whom to connect to!

There is always a zero connection fee,

So don't wait, Mykhailivna!

And inside the network - zero for everyone!

This is Mobilich (aka Mobile Grandpa) - for our folk!